Single Ladies: Before You’d Marry Him, Consider these!

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

Before the need for submission, there must first be acceptance. Marriage is not a difficult institution when there is a leading husband and a wife who is willing to accept his leadership. But the type we have this day is one where there are two heads, an unwilling-to-submit wife or an irresponsible head. Issues will abound in such relationship.

Although, the above verse would raise a lot of opinions as to the case of being submissive or not but I’ll try and do justice to it on a ‘different’ note. Wives are to submit (yield to be controlled) to their own husband but when you allow your ego, status, femininity (misinterpreted) or achievements to influence you, there would be issues in your marriage. There cannot be two sailors in a ship, so is it

with marriage.

Submission is a critical factor in marriage. It determines the cooperation, growth agreement orderliness and the success of any marriage. If he’s leading and you’re not following, you cannot arrive at your destination. And if he’s not leading and you’re following, where are you going?

Consider this issue before you make any further move.

How can I be submissive as a woman? To answer correctly, the following questions would help you narrow down your answers and your response on the following would determine the kind of relationship you’d have.

1. Which Kind of Husband Would He Become?

The kind of husband you marry will determine whether you’ll be submissive or not. Study him carefully and prayerfully while you’re courting. Let me share a real life story with you. A man was dating a lady for marriage in view. They were in the same department in the university. Along the line they were in love but before it get further into her, she prayed about the relationship. God revealed something shocking to her. She saw herself on a ladder and this man was telling her to come down. All through her stay in the university, he was all over her till after service before she boldly ended the relationship. What do you think would happen if she didn’t pray? Prayer would reveal future issues and diligent study would make you discover his nature and personality.

Some men are bossy, some are mamma’s boy, some obstinate and some are archaic in their thinking.

The Bossy type believes you’re an option and he sees himself as the main man in the marriage. He gives the rule and you must do it without compromise.

The Obstinate believes that his own opinion and suggestions are what you must adhere to whether it is wrong and right.

The Archaic-thinking-man believes that how is father ruled his mother is what is still obtainable in this 21st century. He is not given to change and doesn’t believe in new ideas.

Mamma’s boy are tied to their mom’s apron. His mother still have a major role to play in his marriage.

Even when the scripture says he must leave and cleave to his wife, he is still joined to her. If you marry this type of man, you will be submitting to him and his mother.

2. Is He Leading or Driving You?

Regardless of the category he falls into, you must also check if he’s a leader or a driver. A leader carries you along as he shows example on how to go about it. Whatever influences a man will determine his headship. Some have ego, status, wealth and their achievements as

their major influence in the relationship. When a man drives you, he will use you for his own benefit, purpose or gain. He’s the type that believes he does you a favor by marrying you. He won’t see marriage as an institution to learn and grow but a business platform. If you are married to any of these men other than the one whose influence is Christ, expect a tug of war kind of relationship.

3. Is He Helping or Hurting You?

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Eph. 5:25), also love her as your own bodies” (Eph. 5:28). This is the basic injunction of husbands in marriage. A man that loves you will not hurt you. A man that loves you will help you grow to become better in life. He will add value to your life and bring out the best in you. If you are married to a man that loves you as his own body, you won’t have problem submitting to him. But if he abuses, victimizes and makes you less better than when you met him, examine the relationship before you go any further.

Ladies, think, look and pray very well before you consider a man for marriage.

Marriage is to be enjoyed when a man loves his wife as Christ loved the church and she submit to this kind of lordship. Anything apart from these would make a wreck of your marriage.

Ask yourself these 3 important questions and give honest answers!

Don’t be carried away by ephemeral things (gift, false care premarital sex etc) but consider the issue of submission before it becomes a problem. If you cannot submit to him, don’t accept his proposal.

source- Gospel Naija